'Ever wonder why I never really truly connect, even though my eyes are open?'

Theatre practice rolls on and it's going quite well actually. 'Inspector Drake and the Perfekt Murder' opens on Tuesday which is scarily close. It's good though because there are a lot more sound and light effects so it keeps me busy. As it's a comedy it'll probably be quite rewarding, providing that people actually laugh at it! It's funny though, I dunno whether it's because there's a distinct lack of young people in the play this time but I always get the sense of being there but never really feeling fully connected to it all. I always feel like I'm 'other' somehow. I mean, in the last play there was Tom and Danielle who were both my age and who I get on with great. This time I'm the youngest there. It doesn't help that I'm doing the tech stuff from a balcony, which makes me automatically detached from the play. It's my problem though really because I do get on well with most of the cast. it's just not turning out to be *as* social as I originally hoped. I'll be glad to have the summer off from it really. I don't even know if I'll be able to do it next time though, what with my course and all. It'll also be nice to actually spend some time with James. I want my life back damn it!

Before I move on though, Nazi Anne was at theatre the other day. For the second time she tried to push me into joining the operatics society. The first time was at the meal of the last play. I don't know how many times she needs telling that 'I'm tone deaf' and the fact that she tried again shows how little she knows about me. She's clearly not a person who doesn't get told 'no' very often though. I don't like her, she's a bit of a bully.  

It's the same at work though. I've never really connected with the rest of the registry team as much as I connected with the library staff. I can't figure out if it's the situations I find myself in or is it just me? I certainly don't find myself volunteering information about myself when I'm in conversation with someone as much I thought I did, it's something I've really noticed of late. 

Anyway, insecurities aside, there's not much else to tell. I'm off out with James and his workmates tonight which I'm looking forward to. Wow, actually socialness.