How am I different?

[magictreehouse]

Well I can’t say that the past few days have been that eventful really. Me and James spent our final days of the long weekend back at home chilling out. Although we did do some nice stuff like feeding the ducks and swans and buying sandwiches from a really tasty deli. It’s so good to have nice things so close to home. I can go and feed the ducks anytime I like because they’re literally round the corner from my house and there are so many nice places to eat too. Other than that I continued to play on Rollercoaster Tycoon, read, listened to music at not much else. We did watch a Russell Brand stand-up DVD. I did want to see if he was any good after warming to him lately and he was good, not great but good. Not all of his stuff is that funny but I do like it when he gets the ol’ Sun newspaper out.

 

Hmm, what else? I think I’ve just been catching up on TV stuff :s One thing that has amused me lately is mine and James’ bedtime conversations. Last night we were telling each other lame jokes. Stupid stuff like that is a good way to fall asleep I think.

 

One thing that does keep occurring is jobs. James has had it with his job really and was looking for another one last night. Whereas I’m just not very interested in mine. Bits of it I like. Weirdly I like organising meetings, getting papers together and minuting them because it’s all my doing. They’re *my* meetings :D But there’s a lot of monotony. An example being that Sarah’s just gone to a meeting armed with 13 sets of minutes that either me or her have written within the past month, for the group’s consideration. 

Another thing is that it doesn't matter who does my job. There's nothing unique that I can bring to it. At least at the library my customer skills and relations with the staff were down to me and my personality. Here I hardly get the chance, nor really care about getting to know the staff. Admittedly I don't help myself. I do just sit and read when I'm in the staff room, but few people seem to hang around there for long anyway. 

I wouldn’t mind so much if I wasn’t so lonely. I *like* having to consult with people about papers and agendas and stuff but that doesn’t happen very often face-to-face because of the 'joy' of e-mail. Who would have thought that when I left the library that I’d miss the contact with the public? Considering all that I do is complain about people’s stupidity it makes no sense! The question is, what do I do about it? I haven’t got the energy to hunt for another job yet, and in a silly way I don’t want to yet, I just don’t think that I’ve been here long enough and I hope things will change. I just wish that I knew what to do career wise. I don’t have any clue whatsoever so I have nothing to aim for at all. James seems really geared up to do an Open University course which is great, but thinking about how much I hated the work at uni I don’t think I’d cope with it all very well. I have been looking into volunteering though as I badly need some local friends and Skipton’s theatre apparently want some people. I dunno if I’d be any good at acting, I think that behind the scenes stuff is more for me so I’ve applied for some more information. I dunno what else to do though. A lot of the volunteering opportunities here don’t interest me, there is *nothing* to do with animals, well animals that interest me anyway and even the library has nothing apart from stuff on weekdays. I might try the actual Volunteer centre as it’s round the corner from my house as the stuff I’ve seen is just on the internet. They’d better be open Saturday :s I just need some direction and friends, that’s all.